Touhou Playable Character Battle Royale
Touhou Playable Character Battle Royale is a what-if Death Battle episode, featuring Reimu Hakurei, Marisa Kirisame, Sakuya Izayoi, Youmu Konpaku and Sanae Kochiya all form the Touhou Project series. Who do you think should win? Reimu Marisa Sakuya Youmu Sanae Description The queens of the Bullet Hell genre duke it out in this free-for-all Death Battle! Who is the truly superior playable character? Interlude Wiz: Touhou Project, the definitive king of the Bullet Hell genre, with its vast array of characters. Boomstick: And its goddamn difficulty! Seriously, was that game meant for Masochist? Wiz: But who of the five playable characters is the superior in battle? Reimu Hakurei, the protector of the Great Hakurei Border. Boomstick: Marisa Kirirsame, the everything-buster magic witch. Wiz: Sakuya Izayoi, the time stopping and knife throwing maid. Boomstick: Youmu Konpaku, the dual-wielding swordsman of the netherworld. Wiz: Finally, Sanae Kochiya, the wind priestess. Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick. Wiz: And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armor and skills to find out who will win, a Death Battle. Rules Wiz: For this battle. we've got some rules too. Boomstick: Like we put the spell card rules to the trash, so we can show their true power. Wiz: Also, the first five games are not included, since they give a non-cannon source to Reimu and Marisa. So no transforming into a cat for you, Reimu. boomstick: Also, I think we can all agree they didn't really made any sense either. Reimu Hakurei (Cue Reimu's theme) Wiz: Reimu Hakurei is the last member of the Hakurei line, who are charged with protecting the Hakurei barrier. Boomstick: Yeah, and because of that, she have been forced to face things like demons, vampires, ghost, gods and umbrella on a daily basis. Wiz Though most of her victory relied on the spell card rule, so they doesn't really count. But even without the spell card rules, she is still a force to be reckoned with. As a shrine maiden, she excel at using Youkai extermination technique such as exorcism. Boomstick: Her main method of attacking seem to be some piece of holy paper. These little fuckers are homing and made especially for killin' evil thing, but don't go thinking they won't hurt you even if you are human. Wiz: She can use them to create barrier, an art in which she excel, probably due to being the protector of the Hakurei border. She can use them to protect herself, trap opponent or just attack with them. Boomstick: As a shrine maiden, she is supposed to be able to summon gods in her body, but since she doesn't train at all, she cannot do it. Well, since the last person who managed to master this is was able to beat the shit of everyone in Gensokyo, I think we should be glad that she doesn't train. Wiz: But she can use the power of the Hakurei god using the her Yin-Yangs orb, though they aren't that useful when something that isn't evil. Boomstick:But when she use them to shoot lasers, you got Fantasy Heaven, if she manage to get 7 hits on her enemy, she unleashes an unavoidable, unblockable fury of laser that destroy everything in range, like an holy nuclear explosion! Wiz: But her real power comes with her ability of flight. While nearly in Gensokyo can fly, she can use it to float out of reality, ''which make her intangible, with no real limit. she can use to teleport short distances too. '''Boomstick: Also she is damn lucky, most of the time she doesn't even have to search for the culprit, she just wander aimlessly and the big bad show up to her.' Wiz: But this incredible luck is also responsible for her lack of training, as most of her power comes form her ancestry as a Hakurei. She also tend to fail when she get cocky. But even with that, the shrine maiden is not to be under-estimated. Marisa Kirisame (Cue Marisa's theme) Wiz: Marisa Kirisame was the daughter of the owner of the Kirisame shop. Boomstick: But like any hero with an heritage, she left her family to become a badass. Wiz: Despite her best spiritual affinity being with water, she prefer to use light and heat based magic. Boomstick: Yeah! Screw destiny! I do what I want! Wiz: Though unlike her best friend Reimu, her power does not come form her heritage, but by pure training alone. She spends her day trying new magical ingredient together, in hope of finding a magical reaction. Boomstick: Or she, y'know, just steal them form others. Marisa is notorious for stealing stuff, most notably, the magic attack of others. Even her iconic Master Spark was originally used by Yuuka Kazami. Wiz: But her vast array of spell and imagination in using them make her unpredictable. But her greatest asset is her fire power. She uses the mini-hakkero, a magical furnace, to channel her magical power. She use it most notably to fire her Master Spark, a laser of pure heat and magic, capable of reducing a mountain to smithereens. Boomstick: She also use it to propel herself and boost her speed and perform one of her deadly finisher, the Sungrazer. Wiz: According to her spell card named Star Sign "Escape Velocity", she can reach the speed necessary to escape the earth gravitational pull, which will kill any ordinary human. Boomstick: Her magic isn't limited to laser however, use many star-shaped projectile at high speed. Why she chooses star-shaped over something more badass is beyond me but at least they work. Wiz: Like most normal persons in Gensokyo, she can fly. Though she prefer to ride her broom to do it, she can still fly without it, as she can whack enemies with it even in mid-air. Boomstick: Like Peach, her ass is extremely powerful. It can destroy magic bullet, ki energy ball and even knife thrown at her. Wiz: Her fire power is one of the highest in Gensokyo, only comparable to powerhouse like Utsuho Reiuji. Boomstick: But like any good mage, she is not very physically strong. They have even worse health than normal humans. Probably because of all these shrooms she keep using for her magic. But who need endurance when you can destroy a whole city-block by yourself? Sakuya Izayoi (Cue Sakuya's theme) Wiz: Sakuya Izayoi is the enigmatic human working in the Scarlet Devil Mansion. She has apparently served Remilia for years, before they moved to Gensokyo. But not much is known about this mysterious maid. Boomstick: Oh, I know! She was a vampire hunter, and after losing against Remilia, she became her slave for eternity! Wiz: No, Boomstick! That's not cannon! Anyways, Sakuya has an innate ability over time, she can slow it down, accelerate it or even just stop it, without any clear limitations. This has caused her to be rejected form other humans. She has since given up on human interaction with others, not that she have much occasion to do so. Boomstick: She can even reverse time, but since she can't remake what was destroyed, she can only really move things back form where they were. Wiz: Her main method of attacking is her sliver knives. She is extremely skilled at throwing them, capable of perfectly shooting a target 36 meters away form her. Using this with her time stopping ability she can practically make knives appear out of nowhere. She thus, never run out of sharp things to shoot. Boomstick: Even if she look like a teenager, using her time manipulation, she has slowed her aging to look like a teen, in fact, she has probably live for centuries! Wiz: Also, she has some control over space as well, as she can narrow or lengthen space, but this has no known practical use in combat. Even with her power and near perfect skills, she is still a normal human with normal human weakness. Boomstick: But when she stops you, she has all the time in the world to kill you. Youmu Konpaku (Cue PCB's stage 5 theme) Wiz: Some time ago, a man named Youki Konpaku was serving as a gardener and fencing teacher of Hakugyokurou, in the netherworld. But after 330 years of services, he left the jobs to his pupil, another half ghost like, Youmu Konpaku. Boomstick: Wait, what? Half-ghost? Did someone one day just said to himself that it would be a great idea to screw a ghost? Wiz: Actually the origin of this species is unclear, but it is more complex than that. Boomstick: Well, as any good half-something in the world, she is a badass, as a former student of Youki, she has learned all there is to know in sword art. And gardening. Wiz: To complement her skills, she has with her two legendary katanas, Roukanken and Hakurouken. Boomstick: Roukanken is the bigger of the two and the most effective. It is forged by Youkai and is capable of cutting trough almost anything. Also it's supposed to be able to kill 10 spirit at once, but since it can't really kill spirit, this look a bit like a lie. Wiz: The Hakurouken, on the other hand, can actually damage ghost. But rather than killing them, it cut trough confusion, thus it can send spirit to nirvana. Though human and other non-spirit only suffer slight pain when cut with it. Boomstick: As an half-phantom, she can use her floating sperm thing to fight with her. It can shoot projectiles, charge at enemies or even create a copy of Youmu that attack at the same time. It can also create fives of them to perform her final attack: Voidness Sword "Slash Clearing the Six Senses". Wiz: She also use some magic to complement her swordplay, usually some projectiles form her sword or a reflective shield that rebound projectile. But even with all these assets, she has her flaws. She is incredibly naive, easily manipulated and, for some reasons is scared of ghost. Boomstick: How the heck can you be scared of your own species? Sanae Kochiya (Cue Sanae's theme) Wiz: Sanae Kochiya was a wind priestess of two gods; Suwako Moryia and Kanako Yasaka. Their shrines used to be in the outside world, but when their fate started to lower, they moved to Gensokyo and tried to kick the local shrine maiden out. Boomstick: Unfortunately for them, they got rolled over by Reimu and Marisa as their welcoming. Yeah they didn't bothered Reimu after that. Wiz: As a wind priestess, she have some control over wind and can use it to blow things away or to attack. Boomstick: As a shrine maiden, she can summon god at will. Unlike Reimu however, she can actually do it in battle for attack or defense. But unlike Reimu she is limited to her twos patrons: Suwako and Kanako Wiz: She can summon them just the time for them to perform an attack, such as creating a bubble shield or attacking with giant logs. Boomstick: She has some amulets attack like most shrine maiden, but her are not as strong and elaborate as Reimu's. She also have some light and water attack, but she is nowhere close to be mastering them. Wiz: But her most notable attribute is her ability to cause miracle to occur. She can make any improbable event occur trough a spell cast, but the duration of the conjuration depend on how unlikely the miracle is, so it may not be really useful in battle. Also, she is still new in Gensokyo and lack fighting experience. Boomstick: But she is still a human goddess, so few can afford angering her. Pre-Fight Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set, let's end this debate once and for all. Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE! Fight The five girls all settle down near the Hakurei Shrine Marisa: Alright! Let's see who is the strongest Youkai Hunter ze~ But no spell cards this time! Sanae: I won't lose this time! Youmu: Let's end this quickly, I've got chores to do. Sakuya: I hope Flandre won't escape while I'm busy... Reimu: Yawn... I think I will go to the hot spring after this. FIGHT (Cue Wriggle's theme) Marisa make the first move and charge at Youmu with her broom, but the latter dodge and attack with her phantom, which bring Marisa down. She then whack Youmu with her broom, but she block with her Hakurouken. On the other side of the battle field, Sakuya and Sanae team up against Reimu and attack her at the same time, but the shrine maiden block both with her amulet, before teleporting near Sakuya and hit her with her purification rod to send her in a nearby tree. Sanae then summon Kanako to charge at Reimu, which blow her away to the still fighting Youmu and Marisa, breaking up the fight. Sakuya get up and throw a few knives at Youmu, who reflect back her knives at Sakuya, who proceed to dodge them. Reimu takes the air and try to throw a Yin-Yang orb at Sanae, but she use the wind to reflect the attack at Sakuya, but she teleport out of the attack and make knives appear around Sanae, but before they can reach her, she summon Suwako to block them with a bubble. Marisa then fly behind Reimu and smash her down with her broom, but Reimu warp back at Marisa and hit her rod, resulting in a melee fight, in which come victorious as Reimu pummel down toward the ground. Youmu charge at Sanae with her sword who proceed to blow her away with her wind, but Youmu bring Sanae with her thanks to her phantom attacking her form behind as both of them crashes in the Hakurei Shrine. As Marisa is distracted by the destruction of the shrine, Reimu throw a bunch of homing amulet at her before trying to punch Sakuya, but the latter teleport away and surround Reimu with knives, who manage to block them with her amulet shield. Suddenly, Sanae is smash away form the remain of the shrine. She get up and takes flight. When Youmu get to her, she is already summoning her two goddess. In respond to this, her phantom morph into a copy of Youmu. The two goddess and the two Youmu dukes it out. Using the distraction, she prepare a miracle. But as the Youmus defeated the goddess, they both gang up on Sanae and engage in a deadly combo, before finishing Sanae with her Spirit-Cutting Sword "Slash of Ascension to Buddhahood". Sanae is cut in half resulting of this attack. (Cue Kanako's theme) As Youmu lands, the three others each throw their projectile at Youmu, who reflect them back before jumping at Marisa to cut her up, but she counters it with her broom, knocking Youmu out. As she prepare to finish her, she see a few amulet coming at her, so she use her ass to destroy them and smash Reimu with it, but then she get hit with a knifes. Sakuya takes flight above her downed opponent and is about to finishes them, but then six barriers apparear around Sakuya, trapping. It was Remiu, who got up form the attack. She then proceed to narrow the box to try to squash Sakuya between them, but she then receive a phantom in the stomach before crashing into a tree. The attack freed Sakuya. Youmu tried to jump at Reimu to attack, but she receive a broom attack form Marisa. Marisa fly over Youmu and bombards her with her magic bombs. Youmu dodges most of them and fly at Marisa, but the latter knock her down with a laser. She then then lower herself to Youmu's level before lunching her sky high with her broom. Using a Master Spark as a propulsion, she rams Youmu with so much force that she goes right trough her. To assure that she is dead, Marisa use her Sure-fire Master Spark at her towards the moon.. The moon now have a new crater and Youmu is no more. (Cue Hisoutensoku's Final Boss theme) As she try to get back to battle, she is stopped by five barriers surrounding her. Sakuya then surge form the non blocked side and use her Scarred Soul "Soul Sculpture". Marisa is shred apart form the onslaught of knifes thrown at her. Turns out Reimu and Sakuya teamed up to destroy Marisa after seeing her raw fire power completely destroy Youmu. The remaining girls now face themselves with their respective weapon at hand. They both trigger their spell at the same time. Buriallusion "Phantomic Killer in Night Mist" clashes with Divine Spirit "Fantasy Seal". The two of them cancels each others out. Reimu then jumps at Sakuya and punches her down. As she get up, Sakuya fly at Reimu and try to stab her, but she wrap out of the way and she crush her under a giant Yin-Yang orb. Sakuya teleport out of under the Yin-Yang orb and face Reimu once again. But this time, she decided to end it now. With a simple thought, she stopped everything in the area. (Cue Suwako's Last Word theme) Except for one thing. Reimu was still moving and fine even though the time was stopped. It's at this moment Sakuya knew. She fucked up. Reimu had used her final technic, Fantasy Nature! She was now out of reality, thus she was unaffected by the time stop. Sakuya then jumped at Reimu, trying to stab her, but her knives just went trough her without touching her. Reimu then grabbed Sakuya's head, and blasted a point blank range amulet attack on Sakuya's head. This caused Sakuya to go out of her time stop. Reimu then summoned six Yin-Yang orbs around her. She then engaged in a seven-hit combo on Sakuya. Reimu then slowly floated in the air while glowing. The last thing Sakuya saw was a blinding light covering the entire battlefield. After that, Reimu settled down on the ground, surrounded by the remains of her former friends. KO Post-Fight Analysis Boomstick: M-m-m-monster kill! Wiz: Indeed that was quite brutal. It look like Reimu showed why she is the only worthy guardian of Gensokyo Boomstick: Well except that Yukari girl who is always asleep. Wiz: But let's break down each character in their order of losses. Wiz: While Sanae had a notable attack diversity through her summons and wind attack. But they were quite weak and often non-lethal. Combine that with her lack of experience in battle and we can say goodbye to the wind priestess. Boomstick: Youmu had superior sword skills, and actual lethal weapon, and had better tactic potential with her phantom. Her reflect attack helped a lot too against Sanae. Wiz: But Marisa overpowered both of them. Her Master Spark had better range and power than anything these two could ever survive. She also had more speed on her broom than the others and could out maneuver the others. Boomstick: But the real deal came with these two cheaters: Sakuya and Reimu. The former could stop time at anytime, without any limit. If she wanted to, she could have stopped the time and back stab every single one of them. She has all the time in the world to beat them all. Wiz: Except for Reimu. As her ability is literally to float out of reality. It was said that without time limit, this ability would make her unbeatable by anyone. Unlike most information of the Touhou Project series, this was said by the creator himself, not any in-universe character that would want to lie about her ability. And this seem to include Yukari, who is a borderline reality warper. If even her is not able to hurt Reimu in this state, then its sure that Sakuya can't. Boomstick: It look like their prayer were finally answered. Wiz: The winner is Reimu Hakurei. Advantage & Disadvantage Reimu Hakurei + High Destructive power + Can seals off movements + More precision + Teleport + Fantasy Nature makes her immune to everything - Normal Human - Lazy and doesn't take stuff seriously - Doesn't train a lot Marisa Kirisame + Does actually trains a lot + Best Destructive power + Fastest + Focuses on Power - Cocky - Normal Human - Straight Forward - Mostly offensive Sakuya Izayoi + Sharp weapons + Doesn't fuck around + Skilled + Time Stop lets her outspeed EVERYTHING + Time Stop has so many advantage - Normal Human - Knives aren't the best against supernatural stuff - PADS Youmu Konpaku + Sharp Weapons + Ghost Half can out numbers people + Skilled + Half Youkai + Fast - Naive - Few projectiles - Youkai means she is weak to anti-Youkai spells Sanae Kochiya + Half God + Wind manipulation + Can summons Suwako and Kanako - Inexperienced - Naive - Miracles takes time to activate - Mostly uses non-lethal element Do you agree with the outcome? Yes No Category:'Girls Only' themed Death Battles Category:Battle Royales Category:'Company' themed Death Battles Category:'Series' themed Death Battles Category:SaikouTouhou Category:Completed What-If? Death Battles Category:What-If? Death Battles Category:What-If? Death Battles completed in 2015